A Blush of Hot Pink

by Xandra

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about

One year ago, I was buried in a pile of cardboard shipping boxes and tangled up in wires of black licorice cords. I sat in front of my computer overwhelmed with all of the recording equipment I had just received in my 12′ x 13′ office space. I was clueless, frustrated, but hopeful and determined.

After a few days, I had my home recording studio up and running. I had installed ProTools 11 to my iMac, along with my Mbox Pro, AT2020 Mic, Novation Impulse 61 Midi Keyboard as well as a nice set of headphones and monitor speakers. I flipped endlessly through manuals, and submersed myself in YouTube tutorial videos. I recorded whenever I wasn’t writing songs and after about six months of trial and error, I decided to start working on an EP.

I recorded and recorded……….. and recorded. I had no idea what I was doing. I still don’t. I found a new respect for audio engineers and producers out there for the work they provide to musicians, and why they charge the rates they do. I now also know how vital it is to have a soundproof space, as I had every interruption bleed into my mixes from police sirens, to thunderstorms, garbage trucks, lawn mowers, the neighborhood kid blaring his subwoofers, motorcycles, dogs barking, UPS deliveries and Jehova’s witnesses ringing my doorbell, birds chirping out my window and jet plane after jet plane flying over my house from Randolph Air Force Base. You’ll even hear a T-38 flying at the end of the first track “Red Light” as I had just finished recording my guitar when one happened to fly right over my house as I was ending the song. I also couldn’t run my ceiling fan or A/C because of the airy-noise-fuzz, and spent many days working in (what felt like) a 100 degree room with a messy bun, fighting claustrophobia and heat stroke.

My songwriting has a menagerie of moods, and as of now I have written about 70 original songs. On a recording day, I picked whatever I felt like singing and just went with it. I left some of the songs more natural, and others I added more elements such as piano/midi to give them a little more flavor. I am no piano player by any means, so anything you hear is just my fingers goofing off.

I’m a perfectionist, and still, these songs are verrry very raw, messy and unfinished to my ears, but more importantly, I want to reach my goals, conquer my fears and hopefully inspire others to chase after their dreams and pursue their love of music.

Thank you to everyone who has encouraged my ambitions and believed in me along the way. Love to you.

credits

released July 6, 2015

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X Ä N D R A San Antonio, Texas

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Track Name: Red Light
Here I am waiting for the moment to be right
And all along you were the one, but I'm at a red light
There you go, on your way and I will follow
If I'm far away from you I am hollow, hollow

Traffic jam it won't keep me away and I don't give a damn
I will get to you someday
Maybe I will see your face in Santa Fe, maybe I won't

On and on and on I go
You move fast and I move slow
And I'm stuck on a road in the middle of nowhere, tonight
I'm at a red light

Here I am waiting for the moment to be right
And all along you were the one, but I'm at a red light
Track Name: Anyway
Would you let me go, if I let you go
Would you stay right here if I told you no
Would you pull me close to you, if I push away
Would you love me anyway

Would you hold my hands when they're feeling cold
Would you let your heart take a bullet hole
Would you stand by me when they all walk away
Would you love me anyway

Lately I've been stuck, I'm fresh out of my luck
I can't breathe, falling in a bad dream wake me up

Would you watch my back and pull out the knives
Would you take what's wrong and make it right
Would you stitch me up, when it all spills out
When I chew your heart up in my mouth
Would you be right there, would you take the pain
Find my broken bones like an x-ray
Would you pull me close to you if I push away
Would you love me anyway

Lately I've been stuck, I'm fresh out of my luck
I can't breathe, falling in a bad dream wake me up

When I can't hold on, would you keep me safe
Would you bring me back whenever I escape
When I lose myself, no words to say
Would you love me anyway
Track Name: Lipstick Kisses
Lipstick kisses fade on your cheek
For the last time, I leave you in a blush of hot pink
All my flirtations, got me nowhere
Those sweet talking conversations and greedy prayers
I tried to be patient in your world of waiting
It's too late to give me your heart when mine's only been aching

Lipstick kisses and little love letters that you read
You took forever to finally fall in love with me

Now I don't blame you, but then again I do
All the things that you promised me never came true
You can try to win me back, but I'm so over that
Throwing your roses in the trash, I wish I knew then this would never last

Lipstick kisses fade on your cheek
For the last time I leave you in a blush of hot pink
Track Name: Ten Past Ten
You're a bright sunrise in a golden sky
I'm a dark star twinklin' your midnight
In shades of jade and pale blue white
At ten past ten, you say goodnight

You're running late, I'm right on time
Do I ever cross your mind
I'll always wonder why, where have you been
Looking at the clocks again, always looking for a sign
All the scarlet birds they fly
At ten past ten, I start to cry

If you wanna leave, then leave just leave
If you close your eyes you'll never see your dreams come to life
Oh I tried, to breathe you in
To love you in the end

You're out there in the buzzing streets
Somewhere there my heart still beats
You fold your words, there's still a crease right there
Memories I get bombarded, pictures left for me to tear
Watch the world begin to darken
Ten past ten, look what you started

If you wanna leave, then leave just leave
If you close your eyes you'll never see your dreams come to life
Oh I tried, to breathe you in
To love you in the end
Track Name: Honey Bee
Take your hands off my waist
Go and find your heart that you misplaced
You're not who you used to be and I cry
You sting like a honey bee, it's time to say goodbye

Candy coat your kiss for me, I don't feel a thing just a little sting
It's all over now I should've seen you coming for me
The smoke clears and I'm left here running

You're not who you used to be and I cry
You sting like a honey bee so sweet were your lies

And I, I can't hide
I can't break away from you, flowers die and then they bloom
And I, I've lost my mind
The sky will fade from black to blue

You're not who you used to be and I cry
You sting like a honey bee it's only a matter of time
So sweet were your lies
It's time to say goodbye